Bold and Herbaceous

Invite the worst case scenario into your life … flowers always grow out of the trash.

Sun, 03 Feb 2013 15:45:23 -0500

Invite the worst case scenario into your life … flowers always grow out of the trash.

Photo

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 18:10:51 -0500

findingalostboy: It’s when you can remember those experiences...

Thu, 17 Jan 2013 17:15:18 -0500

It’s when you can remember those experiences and have others that aren’t a part of you experience them as which makes it beautiful.

Be the kind of person you want to meet.

Thu, 03 Jan 2013 21:15:53 -0500

“Example isn’t the main thing in influencing others. It’s the only thing”

- Albert Einstein

The most successful people are good at plan B. This also goes for cats. Angry cats.

Thu, 03 Jan 2013 18:56:00 -0500

The most successful people are good at plan B.

This also goes for cats. Angry cats.

“Sooner or later, you start taking yourself seriously. You know when you need a break. You...

Mon, 08 Oct 2012 18:44:06 -0400

“Sooner or later, you start taking yourself seriously. You know when you need a break. You know when you need a rest. You know what to get worked up about, and what to get rid of. And you know when it’s time to take care of yourself, for yourself. To do something that makes you stronger, faster, more complete. Because you know it’s never too late to have a life. And never too late to change one.”

Experimenting with some ombre in the hometown. When your mom is a hairdresser, you can embrace your...

Wed, 12 Sep 2012 17:31:00 -0400

Experimenting with some ombre in the hometown. When your mom is a hairdresser, you can embrace your inner my little pony at your whim.

A Trip To the Paris Fair

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 17:41:00 -0400

Did you know that this year, the attendance at the Paris Fair was the highest it has been in 154 years?

THUMBS UP Y’ALL!

My self, my sister and her pal Mike and my pal Jon were to thank, in part, for this increase.

But to be honest, it sort of surprises me that people are still coming out to this thing after witnessing the horrors of their animal display. Look at these chicks under a red lamp as if they’re getting prepped for being McDonald’s nuggets!

Watching chicks being born was kind of cool though. This one had just hatched and watched it writhe around like a mechanical fish out of water.

This is where the Easter Bunny hangs on the off season.

Kara and her pal Mike walking into the sunset.

We saw some vegetable art. This one had won the blue ribbon. A masterful sweet potato sculpture.

This spaghetti squash was made to look like a treasure chest. Ballin’!

I wonder if these gold nuggets are real gold?

The happiest boy in the world drinking a rouge slurpie.

We made a goal to go to as many fairs in September as humanly possible.

Expect more of these posts.

Sunday School

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 16:50:08 -0400

One Fine Day In Brantford, Ontario

Sat, 01 Sep 2012 21:40:04 -0400

This is my wonderful pal Jon’s luxe budoir on the top floor of his Brant. Ave. house.

Jon fancies himself a home-owner and a career man and although these are both close enough to the truth, his bedroom is rather a state.

It took us a while to make moves this afternoon.

We then made our way out into the buzzing metropolis.

We headed to the Dollar Store and I bought some craft supplies. Then Jon bought a 2-4 of PBR and our afternoon was quite set out for us. Add a pack of jumbo gum drops into the mix and we were laughing.

Here’s our friend Patrick Dempsey. Jon insisted that we buy this rubber frog from the Dollar Store. He made our day, really.

Then I made this candle holder and it’s currently sitting in Jon’s downstairs bathroom.

JON AND I RULE.

Seen In the Buzzing Metropolis of My Hometown

Wed, 29 Aug 2012 18:10:01 -0400

In the depths of the deserted Brantford Market Square lies one of my personal favourite hometown attractions …

Outside the now-vacant Cinema on the top floor of Brantford’s virtually desolate downtown mall hang these eerily beautiful airbrushed movie character portraits.

I loved them as a kid and I was really jazzed to see they were still there when I returned home this past weekend. Marilyn Monroe, Charlie Chaplain and Marlon Brando would be pleased to know they are immortalized forever in this most vibrant of community hubs.

A Beer Fest Adventure, Featuring Labatt 50, My New Dress, And Freshly Shaved Balls (Of Ice)

Sun, 29 Jul 2012 12:18:00 -0400

As the sun began to set late Saturday afternoon, I ventured into Bandshell Park to experience Beer Fest.

As you can see, there were many beer enthusiasts in attendance. Some, I could tell just wanted to play lawn games and wear hats made of beer boxes. Others wanted to sit at picnic tables and savour some of Ontario’s finest craft beers.

I was of both minds.

I’m not above a bit of frat-style tomfoolery, but I do dig a righteous craft beer.

And dig I did, reader. I also learned a ton. Aside from sampling wild and wacky one offs and shooting the shit with brewers, some of Ontario’s top chefs and resto owners dished out grilling tips from the grill tent and a “brewmaster series pavilion” hosted mini workshops teaching about the basics of brewing, cooking with beer, the relationship between beer and the glass.

That is, if they weren’t too distracted by balls in and around their faces.

Snowballs, I mean.

Random fun facts - a “meadophile” is a person who studies beer bottle labels, a “beerologist” is one who drinks a shit ton of craft beer, according to Flying Monkey Brewery.

Also: how awesome are these snow cone flavours? Banana pancakes? How has no one ever done this before? Why have I never done this before? TTYN seasonal depression, I’m making snow cones all winter.

Two young women see the humor in the food vendor that has capitalized on a clever double entendre.

The ever colourful Flying Monkey Brewery.

Toasted coconut and chocolate birthday cake beer. OH NO THEY DI-IN’T!

Here, I sip Labatt 50 in the media lounge. Someone should have told someone I bought a new dress for this. Maybe I would have been upgraded to Auntie Herb’s Spicey Saison.

Kidding.

I really love all beer. If not equally, then experientally analogous. Or something.

Poutine dregs. Are they ever really dregs, though?

Festi fare. Maki rolls and french fries.

Some of my favourite Euro beauts. Delerium, you will always have my heart.

I was excited to get some of Grill-master-man Ted Reader’s new chipotle hot sauce. As a seriously addicted hot sauce fanatic, any sort of variation on spicy grabs my attention.

Although, that evening I put it on some edamame hummus and it wasn’t the best pair in the world. When the grill master man makes hot sauce, he makes it with meatz in mind, perhaps. I’ll grill some tofu soon and let you know how it pans out.

Until then, I’ll just eat this with a spoon.

Then I happily finished off the day with a dinner of champions: beer and ice cream.

* Note the demonic face hiding in the flavour burst cone. Is this some sort of subliminal scare tactic used by parents to disuade children from the ice cream truck? Or red food dye maybe?

Didn’t work on this kid, fools! HA HA.

I saw this on the interwebs today. It both comforted and frustrated me. On one hand, it makes life...

Fri, 27 Jul 2012 19:46:10 -0400

I saw this on the interwebs today.

It both comforted and frustrated me.

On one hand, it makes life feel simple, manageable, small. On the other, it’s actually really hard to know your truth.

Life is full of hang-ups that can be hard to see past. We might think “when I’mfree from this, I’ll be fine.” But can we just let our hang-ups go and then descend into ease and health and effortless perfection?

We’re not idealized wild things.

But I think we can all agree that it’s even more impossible (and more depressing) to try and live “someone else’s truth”. We can learn from others and be influenced by them, but at the end of the day, we just have to do what works for us. Chances are, it’s probably not the same as what works for Pam, Beth, or Sherry, your dog walker, your yoga teacher, or Dr. Phil.

But those people probably all have a place in helping you find what your truth is.

Bring High Proof Staples to Corner Stores!

Fri, 27 Jul 2012 14:12:00 -0400

The current alcohol retailing system was designed in 1927. Perhaps it’s time for a change?

The current petition to bring wine and beer to convenience stores was sparked by some unhappy campers (read - deprived souls) in Southern Ontario forced to drive 20 minutes to get to a liquor store. The 80 residents in the small community complained, and the petition was started. Today, 112, 500 signatures from people all across the province are on that petition. (Toronto is in the top 20 contributing cities).

It’s pretty clear we want our beer and wine where we buy our milk and cheese.

“Ontarians have spoken very clearly and they are not happy with the antiquated alcohol retailing system we have in Ontario,” said Ontario Convenience Stores Association CEO Dave Bryans. “They’re responsible adults who want the simple convenience of leaving the car at home and walking to their neighbourhood store to get wine for dinner or drinks for the barbecue.”

For some, it just makes sense that convenience stores offer higher proof pantry and fridge staples. For others, stocking corner store shelves with tall cans is an open invitation for minors to guzzle at their leisure.

But a secret shopping test showed that the likelihood of a store clerk up selling a penny-candy-buying teen a pack of wine coolers is actually pretty low - when it comes to IDing, convenience stores have a better track record than the LCBO and the Beer Store. Patrons were ID’d 12.7% more often here than they were at the LCBO, and 6.6% more often than the Beer Store.

… so who’s up for a leap of faith? I AM.

No one should have to drive 20 minutes to get a bottle of wine. That’s simply a fate I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Even worse, the shocking realization when you open the fridge at a party to find that the wine must be rationed. From that moment on, the party is in decline whether you want it to be or not.

If beer and wine were sold in convenience stores, the party would never have to stop.

Of course, this isn’t just about the party. It’s about the Sunday dinner that happens to require a spontaneous round of G&T’s past 5. It’s about the Wednesday evening that’s so rediculously beautiful it calls for a glass of Malbec on the front porch. It’s about the pack of gummie bears that would just be even better with a tall can.

It’s about convenience. Bring me my stiff staples, I will bring you an infinitely more contented citizen.

Photo by haven’t the slightest via Flickr.

AUTUMN COMFORT FOOD IN SUMMER: APPLE PIES BAKED IN AN APPLE.

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 15:20:00 -0400

Because no matter how sweaty you are, pie rules.

I found this mucho adorable recipe from Domestic Dilettante. If I had known the word dilettante met “someone who has a superficial interest in a branch of knowledge” I probably wouldn’t have trusted it.

KIDDING! I love this blog. I might even start a spin off blog called Domestic Delinquent. Thoughts?

The clever concept of baking personal apple pies inside hollowed out apples so intrigued me, I promptly decided to move it from the interwebs and into my kitchen.

STEP ONE: This is the hardest part - hollowing out the apples. I don’t have a corer and neither did the pie-making pal I recruited to help me, so we had to hack the inside out with my shitty knives and a spoon. Not efficient. Alas, where there is a will for pie, there’s always a way. And where there’s beer, tedious tasks are a piece of cake. Or pie.

STEP 2: This is the easiest part. Simply toss together 1/4 cup of brown sugar, 1 tsp of cinnamon, a splash o’ vanilla (if you don’t have, don’t sweat it), and the thinly sliced salvaged meat of the apples you hacked up. Mix it all together in a cauldron while chanting “double double toil and trouble” and then spoon it into the apples until their full.

Of course, how full they are will depend on how much of the filling you eat.

STEP 3: Now, the discerning reader will be able to tell that I copped out and didn’t make my own pie crust. I didn’t even go to the great length of buying pre-made pie crust. I had some phyllo pastry in my freezer that I reckoned would suffice. I brushed it with some E.B. (Earth Balance) and cut it into thin strips.

Far in the back of the pic there is my friend’s pie. It’s hidden away because its the ugliest. Why? Because he insisted on making a legit lattice crust with the in and out weaving and everything. I assured him this was an idiotic idea and no one would be able to tell if the lattice was, in fact, a lattice.

I think I was right.

STEP 4: We stuck them in a baking dish with enough water to cover the bottom. We were supposed to cover them in foil but we didn’t have foil. Here again, my friend insisted that we run to the store to buy some and again I assured him he was a fool.

We baked them, in my sweltering hot apartment, sans tin foil, for about 15 minutes. We checked on them and asked them if they were ok and they seemed to be a little reluctant to brown up so we broiled them at like max hot for 3 minutes and almost burnt the living daylights out of them.

We took them out and let them cool (a process that took entirely too long).

But when we finally ate them, they tasted like gems of the most magical dewy orchard.

Thanks, Dilettante!

You could also do a crumble top.

Have a good day!

I’m into romance these days.

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 10:44:59 -0400

I’m into romance these days.

6 Fun and Cheap Ways to Feel Like A Tourist in Toronto

Sun, 08 Jul 2012 11:52:00 -0400

Ah, Dutch Dreams. How you horrify and delight me.

When the line-up out of the door of this place stretches almost to St. Clair, you know Toronto summer lovin’ is in full swing. The time is upon us to do rediculously fun things. Things that are adventurous, spontaneous, rebellious, saucy. While I can’t help you be saucy or rebellious, I can offer you some fun and cheap ideas for taking advantage of Toronto summer in the best way ever: like a total tourist.

Round up your bike fleet, strap on your Birkenstocks, and fill your backpack with tall cans. Don’t let the summer pass you by without doing some fun shit.

Get up early and go to the antiques market at St. Lawrence market

The Sunday Antique Market knocks any other antiques shopping experience in the city out of the water. Set in the city’s oldest neighborhood, the 120 vendor market is superior in quality and quantity. It’s an otherworldly experience. Set your alarm, throw on comfy shoes, and grab a stiff red eye. You’ll want to be an early bird at this one.

Paddle away from it all at the Harbourfront

Canoe trips: time consuming, sweaty, require vehicle and time off work. Paddle boats at the Harbourfront Centre: $5 per person. Canoe rentals: $4. Let those gentle waves be your guide, Pocahontas. Finding your spirit animal: priceless.

Go on a weekend pop up shop window shopping tour

Nothing says transient like a novelty pop up shop. In the summer, some streets are crawling with them - boutiques on Ossington and Dundas West, galleries in Kensington. It’s a really fun way to shop and find unique stuff. What’s not to love about vintage clothes with a side of snow cones and temporary tattoos?

Rent Bixie bikes and conquer your lesser known hoods

Take advantage of Bixie and go on a DIY hop on hop off tour of Toronto. Cruise around the beaches. Stop for ice cream. Storm the historic Distillery. Stop for a photo op. At the end of the day back, crash into satisfied exhaustion. There are 80 different docks in the city, and it’s only $5 for 24 hour access.

Have a campfire dinner on an fire pit

The legal status of outdoor fire pits in Toronto is iffy, but you can find public fire pits on the Island, Ashbridges bay park, and Dufferin Grove. A dinner of s’mores is entirely acceptable during the dog days, I say.

Chillax at a Beer Garden

For a festival-inspired alternative to a patio, check out one of the city’s ongoing beer gardens. Ever noticed people are so much more inclined to talk to each other at a beer garden? More banter with strangers = more fun. The Stop’s Beer Garden goes down every Sunday from 1 – 5 PM. Local brews, local eats, and all proceeds to go the Stop Community food center! For a next-level beer garden experience, Brewers Backyard at the Brickworks (August 12 and September 23) designed to make drinkers feel like they’re hanging out in (you may have guessed it), the brewer’s backyard.

How To Have Not-Lame Family Fun Time Without Going Bonkers

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 21:45:00 -0400

Look how cute my family is with our tourist pamphlets and maps and thangs! This photo was taken in Port Dover last weekend, when we spent the day palling around on the beach, walking around surf shops and eating perch. This photo may be orchestrated, but our fun was 100% the real deal. Yep - I’m proud to say that my cute ass family excels at family fun time. This is namely because:

a) I’m a drunk

b) My sister seems to have no problem indulging my drunken whims

c) My dad doesn’t say much

For most people, family time is about as thrilling as Mr. Rogers cardigans. I’m just lucky I guess. So I’m going to give you some expert tips on turning that frown upside down and making family hang time the super fun party it should be, even when it’s 30+ in the shade, the photo ops are tedious, and you’re missing Madmen. After all, these are the people who fed you, clothed you, and helped you move apartments 4 times during your undergrad.

Show the rents a good time, you ungrateful ass.

GET INVOLVED. Suggest doing some not-lame activities you’re genuinely interested in. Your family will be happy you did. Scattergories tournaments, backyard fire bowl s’more making and story telling / memory sharing, canoe day trips, berry picking, take a class or workshop together.

MAKE AN EVENT OF PLANNING. If you’re going on an extended trip, get everyone involved in planning so you can all have a say in where you go / what you do once you get there. Planning your trip or outing just makes it a lot more exciting and will make your memories more vivid. Have a themed dinner night with the cuisine of the place you’re visiting, or have a movie night and watch a film that shows your destination in its most epic glory.

BREAK AWAY FOR SOME ME TIME. Plan some personal activities you can do to break away for some me time when you really think your family may be the death of you. Being present and engaged and being able to give of yourself starts ultimately with putting yourself first. Before irritation builds up inside you like a bubbling guyser and results in an epic tantrum, step away. Then come back and bake brownies with mom.

BOOZE. Family time is so better with alcohol. Smash a whiskey shot and lively up yourself.

TREATS. Don’t underestimate the power of the prospect of ice cream. Promising yourself a treat can make any trying day go by much quicker.

SMILE. Did you know smiling actually makes you feel happier? One study found that people who have had Botox injections, and are thus unable to frown reported feeling happier and less anxious than those who haven’t had the needle jabbin’. Weird. Our muscles, organs, brains, and emotions are all totally connected. So, don’t get botox, but smile more. This tends to go hand in hand with number 3.

I wish you a summer filled with hours of family fun time.

STRAP ON YOUR BEER GOGGS: Beer Academy is Open for Biznatch.

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 16:38:00 -0400

Beer Academy: Small-batch Craft Brewery, Tasting Room & Beer Shop, and experiential beer event space where, according to their Twitter bio, “beer knowledge is shared, glasses raised, and thirsts are satisfied.”

And satisfied I was when I checked out the grand opening for a night of cheese and beer pairings, beer infused desserts, and general beer geekery.

The new space (which just opened on Wednesday) moved into the old Duggan’s Brewery space at 75 Victoria St. It’s a brainchild of Six Pints Speciality Beer Company, a craft-beer division of Molson Coors.

The space is rustic, cozy, urban cottagey with a fireplace and a big shelf of beer books. I accepted it all as an open invitation to camp out on their leather seats with my feet on the coffee table and drink free sample after free sample of wheat beer. It’s good to be alive.

The walls are covered in historical facts and beer quotes, so you’ll learn a lot just by walking around the place (if you don’t have your beer gogg’s on, that is), but the beer experts that run the joint will tell you everything you want to know. I appreciate a man who will indulge all of my drunken inquiries / demands without question.

Now, onto what really matters: their 5 custom brews, which flowed freely from their brass taps (and straight into my throat) include a blonde ale, dunkel weiss, Belgium brown, a pale ale and a porter. You can wet your beak on those in their tasting room, and they’ll be available in growlers or quart bottles. They also stock some Creemore and Granville brews.

Creemore’s Awesome new Kellerbier (German, translates directly to “cellar beer”).

Here are some Ontario Angus steak sandwiches. Obv not my thang, but I appreciate that these sandwiches look like Muppet heads.

“This little devil is the perfect partner in crime to a great pint”, indeed. They had me at rich.

Kellerbier carrot cake. Infused with Creemore Kellerbier. A match made in heaven.

A macaroni and cheese bar.

Macaroni and cheese, served out of a shiny silver buffet dish in paper cups with DIY toppings. Noodles should always be consumed like this. In fact, every food should be consumed like this.

DIY Beer Cocktails Inspired By Toronto’s Best Beer Joints

Thu, 21 Jun 2012 13:21:00 -0400

There are purists out there who may scoff at a Shandygaff, cringe at a Red Eye, and recoil at a Snakebite. But as many experts will tell you, and it’s my own humble opinion, that a great beer cocktail can make a brew even better.

For those times when a simple cold one just won’t cut it, add some sass to your glass. We all know I’m a big fan of adding sass to anything. Here’s how.

The Hop Pocket

Inspired by Victory Cafe’s “Hoptang”

The Annex’s dealer of many a Canadian brews excels at beer cocktails. Their Hoptang is one of the more creative mixtures on the menu. To make a sweet n’ salty version of your own, rim a pilsner glass with honey and season with sea salt. Add ice, and 1 oz. gin and 1 oz. freshly squeezed grapefruit juice. Fill the rest of the glass with a pale ale of your choice.

The Sweet Wheatie

Inspired by Beer Bistro’s “Mimosa Bianca”

The darling of summer, wheat beer, gets a citrusy kick in this simple concoction. Beer Bistro insists it’s a mimosa of sorts, so you can justify consumption before noon. Mix two parts of your favourite wheat beer with one part freshly squeezed orange juice in a tall tapered glass. Add ice if you want. Add a dash of grenadine if you’re feeling funky. Omit if this is a manmosa.

The PG19 Beer Float

Inspired by C’est What’s Coffee Porter Float

This unconventional treat was on the menu at C’est What for 3 years. Enthusiasts could choose between their house made oatmeal stout, coffee porter, or hazelnut chocolate ale to pair with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Say WHAT?! I know, how could you miss this? Well, you can whip up your own. Grab a diner style soda glass, add a scoop of vanilla ice cream and slowly pour your choice of brew over top. Too fast, and you’ll have a froth fest on your hands. Not in your mouth.

The Spiced Shandygaff

Inspired by Barchef’s “Jimmy Cliff”

Island flavah is no stranger on the menu at Barchef, where tropical ingredients make their way into usual suspects. This cocktail is sure to keep you irie all summer. Fill a tall glass with ice (if using), and squeeze a lime over top. Add equal parts lager and ginger beer. Stir to combine.

Photos by esimpraime, reeselloyd, caroline on crack via Flickr.